4. What women want... in bed.

We thought it was time to get into something a little more risqué. One of our favorite subjects - sex. But first we have to put a disclaimer on these entries.

No two people are alike and therefore each one of us has different wants and needs from our partners.

There's a stigma in the world that says sex has to be animalistic or boring. Sometimes humans mate in order to have offspring, but more likely, we're doing it to have fun. To be close. To say something to someone that Hallmark doesn't make a card for. Not yet at least (see prototype below).

Erica: Women get a bad wrap for not being decisive or honest about what we want in life... and in bed. And maybe it's true. Maybe we aren't up front with our partners about what we truly want. But our bodies don't lie. The short answer of what women want in bed is this: intimacy. The kind of intimacy that can only happen when you have sex. Think about it. You're physically closer than ever, you're forced to look each other in the eye (in certain stances), so it's almost impossible not to connect. Don't fight it. Let that happen. Even if you wind up laughing for a little bit. Women want an experience, to be ravaged, to feel like this isn't the same bed she drools in at night. Slam us up against the wall, make a long car ride more "interesting," put on some music, make us feel like we're not ourselves but some celestial sex being. And we want to feel like we're amazing at making you feel amazing. That makes us so confident that we become uninhibited and wild. It works out on both ends. Girls are naturally givers most of the time, so it's nice to switch roles once in a while. I can't tell you how to master all the inner-workings of a woman's body, hopefully there's a male version of Cosmo for that, but I can tell you that if you really want to please her, and you listen to her body, you won't fail. Just to make it clear, moan = good, silence = bad.

Jill: I'm trying fervently to get the image of Mel Gibson shaving his legs out of my mind. Forget everything the movies tell you. Erica's right, women want intimacy. Women want to feel as if the reason you two are having sex is not for the man to get off, but for her guy to do anything to get her off (guys will always get off in the end) and have an amazingly fun time while doing it. Get creative. Ask to try different positions. Be playful. LAUGH, bite, tickle, squeeze, lick...When you show us how much you dig us, it's like winning the lottery every time we're in bed with you. We love to see how much you want us, and like Erica said, we love to see how much we can please you. Guys, don't be afraid to get into it. Moan, loud. It's a huge turn on for girls to hear and see how much you're into what we're doing. If you're anything like Erica and I, real and down-to-earth, then we appreciate real and down-to-earth emotions and actions in bed. Don't hold back. Ask for things and give in return. Be sensitive if we get tired. Offer to take care of us. Encourage us, tell us how good we are. Talk about something you'd like to do more, or something you don't like as much. Make sure you let us know we rock your world and we will. And don't fall asleep afterward.

We know you will, but at least try not to.
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3. Dolla dolla bills ya'll - Part one / Advice: is it time to end things?

We've been asked to address financial issues for couples by some of our wonderful readers, but we're going to have to split each concern up into a few different entries. Today: who pays when we're out?

Who pays for what on a date? Traditionally speaking, it’s been a man’s role to be a caretaker and provider for his woman. Women stayed at home, took care of her wifely obligations and waited for her husband to come home with the cheese AND bacon. Although women have clearly stepped past that role, advancing in society and holding powerful positions in the workforce, much of the old sentiment of men being a caretaker are still prevalent.

Jill: The automatic and probably favored response to, “Who pays for what when we’re out?” is “The man, duh.” However, I’ve been in situations where I’ve been happy to pay for myself or have volunteered to cover the entire bill. Some women may think it’s nice to be paid for all the time. Well, it sure would be! Frugality is nice, but constantly being paid for and feeling like I’m not contributing personally makes me feel like a freeloader. I know such isn’t true, but I can’t help but feel that I should reciprocate the effort every once in a while. Men are human too and everyone wants to be taken care of (in some sense). Would it kill you to say, “Dinner’s on me,” every so often? I’m sure your man will appreciate it, even if he still refuses to let you pay. It’s a nice gesture that says, “I appreciate your company,” or “Thanks for coming out with me.” Also, don’t abandon the notion that if you’re doing several things that night, say bowling and drinks, have your guy pay for bowling (provided he offers), and then offer to pay for celebratory drinks afterward. You’ll both feel like you’ve contributed to the date and the fun you surely had together!

Erica: Although I agree with most everything Jill says about this subject, I have to address this one factor. Almost every guy I've dated would get upset, even angry if I tried to grab the bill before they did. They would act like I tried to put them in a baby-doll dress and push them around in a buggy. I'm not saying the guy should always pay. I am saying that you never refuse a free meal. Some men would rather pay, even when they have to put it on their Visa and instantly dread getting that bill in the mail. I guess it's a pride thing. Now I know some of you guys out there are like, "Pshya! I'd love a sugar mama!" But come on... does the name Jon Gosselin ring a bell? Kate was the breadwinner and he was driven into the arms of several other whores. (One of which looked shockingly just like me - see picture above.) He was emasculated. However, I always think it's nice to spend money on him when he doesn't know you are. "The bartender said it was on the house," or "I got this in the mail, do you want it?" "I have a gift certificate we should use," always works. Being sneaky for a good cause. In conclusion, I lean more towards this old-fashioned way. If the guy wants to pay, you better let him... and you better put out at the end of the night. _____________________________________________________

Is it time to end things?

Well, I have heard about this website, and have relationship problems. (Notice, in fact, I am a male.) Long story shortest... I met this girl at school. She isn't like everyone else, but that is what makes me happy. So then I found out she really like my best friend, and when I hang around with him she gets mad. But she is kinda still my friend, but we do get in fights a lot about how she... sort of doesn't do well with friendships. I always kinda talk about her, and joke about her, but people would not EVER think I like her. I don't know what to do at all. She is really great, but gets on my nerves with her loving my best friend. I don't know if I should tell her I like her, or not. I don't know when, or how. Now or then? Please help out... thanks!

Erica: Good for you for liking a "different" girl. Different girls like me and Jill are the best kind. How can someone be not good with friendships? Thoroughly confused with that. And why can't you act like you actually like her around your friends? I'm sure they pick up on it anyways. And she might pick up on it too. She seems to be jealous of you for hanging out with the guy she likes. Whenever she gets upset with you for talking about your friend that she likes, just be like, "Hey, he's my friend, it's not my fault. Date him if you love him so much." And it doesn't really sound like she really likes you. But that can be from you guys bickering all the time. Try to slowly become more honest about how you're feeling. No one can fault you for thinking the way you do.

Jill: This may be a classic case of the have and have-nots. Do you know if she's interested in you romantically? It seems like from what you're saying she may not even be interested in being your friend, seeing as she doesn't "do well with friendships." I think the best thing is to find out if she's interested in you. If she's really interested in your friend, instead, and that makes you angry, it might just be more painful for you to try to maintain a friendship with her because you'll always be reminded that you can't have her. Think hard about this one and find out what she wants. It seems like you already know what you want. I know it's a little embarrassing and you have to put yourself on the line a little, but ask her straight up. Take a walk after school or just when you two are hanging out, bring up that you really like her and you want to know if she's worth pursuing. Trying to guess how she feels (incorrectly) may only end in heartache for you (or not, but you may never know if you never tell her!).

2. Is it wrong to date my friend's ex?

We've all seen it happen. A man is passed around, dating from girl to girl within a group of friends. It's strange and all too common. Now we'll answer the question: is it wrong to date my friend's ex?

The short answer is yes. Never date a friend’s ex. The long answer is still yes. But if they're your soul mate... still yes.

Jill: When you date a friend's ex, you are overstepping several boundaries. You’ve probably spent time consoling your friend on how xyz (insert negative personality trait here) he was and how she’s better off without him. In this instance, if you two run away together, you risk being a hypocrite and looking like a back-stabbing fool. People will no longer trust you as a loyal friend. You lose. But you bagged your loser, so it all works out, doesn’t it?

When you date a friend’s ex, you are basically getting handled goods. Do you really think you could fall head over heels for someone who likely had lovey-dovey pillow talk with one of your girlfriends? Are you sure you’re willing to be compared mentally and physically to one of your girlfriends? If there’s one thing women hate by default, it’s her man’s ex-girlfriend. Extra jealously is awarded if she’s accomplished, beautiful and funny. Even if she is trash ball, you’ll still feel the urge to hate anyone who once spooned with your beau. If your friendship has survived your moving in on her ex, you can count on encountering some sort of problems later, whether it be between you and your man or you and your friend.

The moral of the story is, more likely than not, be prepared to lose a friend and make several enemies while dating a friend’s ex. Are you THAT girl (or guy)? Can you honestly find nobody else worthy of your attention than one of your friends was in a relationship? When you feel tempted to go down that road, think to yourself: If he wasn’t good enough for my friend, he probably isn’t good enough for me. And if you find yourself thinking: Forget that!, then you clearly don’t value your friend and their feelings enough to consider the repercussions of what you’re about to do, meaning you guys are not friends, and therefore this isn’t a problem worth considering. You may justify it that way to yourself, but know you are most likely jeopardizing a friendship and treading very dangerous waters. Whether or not that friendship is important to you or not will be apparent in your decision to date her ex. Also consider what your decision says about you as potential girlfriend. If you can’t even be a loyal friend, how can you be trusted to be a loyal girlfriend?

Any girl that says she doesn’t care whether or not you date her ex is lying. Unless she’s some soulless ghoul who lives in a garbage can, completely shut-off from emotion, I promise you there will be reciprocity about you and her ex together. Maybe not to your face, but you can sleep soundly at night next to your new man knowing people are talking hot, steamy shit about you at that very moment. If that makes you feel good, or you just don’t care…well you’re the girl that gives women a bad name. And then when you break up, you have no friends to go crying to. Wah wah!

Erica: Hell yes. Bros before hoes.

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Hey everyone. We got an e-mail last night from a young lady looking for some advice, so we thought we'd post it. Enjoy!

Hello, a friend told me about the website, and I really need help. There's this guy that I really, really like, but I'm not sure if he likes me back. Some people are telling me yes, and some people are telling me no. He and I are best friends, and after lunch and band (the two classes we have together), he walks me to my next class. The entire school, including him, found out because a guy liked me, and eventually he and two others found out, and told everyone. Everyone has started making fun of me, and they've started to tease him, too. I can't decide whether I should ask him out and get it over with if he says no/be happy together if he says yes, or if I should ask if we can just be friends again like we were beforehand. Please help me! ~ Anonymous

Erica: Well first of all, forget everyone's opinions (except mine and Jill's). You have to do what you want to do with your life. Do you want to date him? Are you willing to possibly lose the friendship you have in order to be a couple? Personally, I don't think a lot of guys can be that close and chivalrous with a girl and NOT like her. Unless he's gay. And screw everyone that would tease either of you for doing exactly what everyone else is doing: figuring life out. So if you need some definite answers... yes, he likes you. That doesn't necessarily mean he wants to date you though. He hasn't asked you out so maybe he doesn't want to risk the friendship, but most likely he's not sure what you want to do. Having a best guy friend is great. I think you should just talk to him about it. Be honest. If he's your best friend, you'll be able to figure something out together that works on both ends.

Jill: I agree with Erica. High school can be confusing times. People are jealous and catty (Mean Girls, anyone?), so don’t take what they say to heart. No one should make fun of you for someone liking you. Like Erica said, he does like you. There’s no question in that. Not any guy just walks you to class and hangs out with you all the time. The best advice we can offer is try your hardest to keep other people’s opinions from swaying your decision. Do what feels right for you. You may feel guilty that other people are making fun of him and that’s somehow your fault. Rest assured that it isn’t. Talk to him, see where his emotions lie and ask him if he wants to take it further. If not, you’ll still have a great friend by your side, and in high school, those are valuable people for your life!