2. Is it wrong to date my friend's ex?

We've all seen it happen. A man is passed around, dating from girl to girl within a group of friends. It's strange and all too common. Now we'll answer the question: is it wrong to date my friend's ex?

The short answer is yes. Never date a friend’s ex. The long answer is still yes. But if they're your soul mate... still yes.

Jill: When you date a friend's ex, you are overstepping several boundaries. You’ve probably spent time consoling your friend on how xyz (insert negative personality trait here) he was and how she’s better off without him. In this instance, if you two run away together, you risk being a hypocrite and looking like a back-stabbing fool. People will no longer trust you as a loyal friend. You lose. But you bagged your loser, so it all works out, doesn’t it?

When you date a friend’s ex, you are basically getting handled goods. Do you really think you could fall head over heels for someone who likely had lovey-dovey pillow talk with one of your girlfriends? Are you sure you’re willing to be compared mentally and physically to one of your girlfriends? If there’s one thing women hate by default, it’s her man’s ex-girlfriend. Extra jealously is awarded if she’s accomplished, beautiful and funny. Even if she is trash ball, you’ll still feel the urge to hate anyone who once spooned with your beau. If your friendship has survived your moving in on her ex, you can count on encountering some sort of problems later, whether it be between you and your man or you and your friend.

The moral of the story is, more likely than not, be prepared to lose a friend and make several enemies while dating a friend’s ex. Are you THAT girl (or guy)? Can you honestly find nobody else worthy of your attention than one of your friends was in a relationship? When you feel tempted to go down that road, think to yourself: If he wasn’t good enough for my friend, he probably isn’t good enough for me. And if you find yourself thinking: Forget that!, then you clearly don’t value your friend and their feelings enough to consider the repercussions of what you’re about to do, meaning you guys are not friends, and therefore this isn’t a problem worth considering. You may justify it that way to yourself, but know you are most likely jeopardizing a friendship and treading very dangerous waters. Whether or not that friendship is important to you or not will be apparent in your decision to date her ex. Also consider what your decision says about you as potential girlfriend. If you can’t even be a loyal friend, how can you be trusted to be a loyal girlfriend?

Any girl that says she doesn’t care whether or not you date her ex is lying. Unless she’s some soulless ghoul who lives in a garbage can, completely shut-off from emotion, I promise you there will be reciprocity about you and her ex together. Maybe not to your face, but you can sleep soundly at night next to your new man knowing people are talking hot, steamy shit about you at that very moment. If that makes you feel good, or you just don’t care…well you’re the girl that gives women a bad name. And then when you break up, you have no friends to go crying to. Wah wah!

Erica: Hell yes. Bros before hoes.

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Hey everyone. We got an e-mail last night from a young lady looking for some advice, so we thought we'd post it. Enjoy!

Hello, a friend told me about the website, and I really need help. There's this guy that I really, really like, but I'm not sure if he likes me back. Some people are telling me yes, and some people are telling me no. He and I are best friends, and after lunch and band (the two classes we have together), he walks me to my next class. The entire school, including him, found out because a guy liked me, and eventually he and two others found out, and told everyone. Everyone has started making fun of me, and they've started to tease him, too. I can't decide whether I should ask him out and get it over with if he says no/be happy together if he says yes, or if I should ask if we can just be friends again like we were beforehand. Please help me! ~ Anonymous

Erica: Well first of all, forget everyone's opinions (except mine and Jill's). You have to do what you want to do with your life. Do you want to date him? Are you willing to possibly lose the friendship you have in order to be a couple? Personally, I don't think a lot of guys can be that close and chivalrous with a girl and NOT like her. Unless he's gay. And screw everyone that would tease either of you for doing exactly what everyone else is doing: figuring life out. So if you need some definite answers... yes, he likes you. That doesn't necessarily mean he wants to date you though. He hasn't asked you out so maybe he doesn't want to risk the friendship, but most likely he's not sure what you want to do. Having a best guy friend is great. I think you should just talk to him about it. Be honest. If he's your best friend, you'll be able to figure something out together that works on both ends.

Jill: I agree with Erica. High school can be confusing times. People are jealous and catty (Mean Girls, anyone?), so don’t take what they say to heart. No one should make fun of you for someone liking you. Like Erica said, he does like you. There’s no question in that. Not any guy just walks you to class and hangs out with you all the time. The best advice we can offer is try your hardest to keep other people’s opinions from swaying your decision. Do what feels right for you. You may feel guilty that other people are making fun of him and that’s somehow your fault. Rest assured that it isn’t. Talk to him, see where his emotions lie and ask him if he wants to take it further. If not, you’ll still have a great friend by your side, and in high school, those are valuable people for your life!