A faithful reader coined the phrase "Relationship Chicken." What does it mean? Should you even care?The answer is yes. Relationship Chicken is quite possibly the most loathsome, disheartening issue you have to deal with in a relationship. You and your significant other have been together for a long time. A couple years into it, you wake up and realize a myriad of things have sprung up to put space between you. That old "spark" is gone, your careers are taking different paths, or you are just drifting apart in general. So many "How do we make this work?" phone calls go by until your realize both of you are playing Relationship Chicken?
The term means you both care for each other, maybe even were in love at one point, but there's simply no future anymore. You both realize it, but somehow it's easier to stay together than to be the one to step on toes and hurt your partner's feelings. You spend weeks, even months wondering when and if the other person is going to end it, but slowly come to realize that your apathy is met with equally matched sentiments. It's hard and tough to let down someone you cared so much for. But in all honestly, if they're feeling the same way, someone's gotta nip it in the bud.
These things just have to be done. It's like cleaning out your closet or shaving your legs after a long winter. No one WANTS to do these things, and the task may be laborious, but at the end of the day, you stand up, dust your hands together and feel more accomplished than ever. It's nothing personal, things just have to happen that way in order for you both to move forward.
My best advice here is to be honest (as always). Talk about why things aren't working. If you're into the relationship and both parties want to salvage it, then the long phone conversations and endless streams of tears is worth it. But if it feels like more trouble than it's worth, it probably is.
Chicken wings: good. Relationship chicken: bad.
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