Annoying Shit Girls Do Pt. III

9. Heat pack VS. ice pack
As much as hormones annoy men, they annoy us too. You think we enjoy the emotional roller-coaster? No way.

Guys say there's no female version of getting kicked in the nuts, and that's because there physically isn't. Physical pain is the most agonizing experience for men, and emotional pain is most agonizing for women. Just another one of those differences that we should celebrate, not dread. It's the reason why we lash out. It's the reason why we think childbirth isn't that big of a deal. It's the reason why girls have to switch school because of bullies.

PMS is probably the largest part of this annoyance. Girls, we know when we're due for our periods (sometimes to the minute), and therefore we should be more aware of PMS overrunning our normally mild demeanor. What do you mark on your calender to know your period is coming? Think of another discreet symbol to mark a week ahead of that. We should mark that day to know that we're prone to acting irrational and becoming short-tempered a week before we're due. Guys, it's science. Don't say snide remarks under your breath when you're leaving the room. Say, "Hey, are you alright? Did I do something wrong? I'm trying to be compassionate if it's something you can't control, but if you can control it, how can we fix it?"


10. "Whatcha thinkiiin'?"
Women ask a lot of questions, but I don't think it's the thoughtful, insightful questions that men get fed up with. It's the millionth round of "Did you switch the laundry?" or "How do you feel?" that makes men's blood boil.

The reason we ask a lot of questions is not to annoy you. We just want to stay informed. When the load of questions become bothersome, picture us as Diane Sawyer. We're just trying to get the scoop out of you, because you're not about to just blab to us. May I remind you ladies, journalists don't get a bad rep for nothin'.

Here's our advice. Ladies, keep your questions to the minimum. A "How was your day?" and "When are you going to be home?" will suffice. Spread out your question-asking throughout the day. Instead of insisting on knowing what your man wants for dinner the minute he steps out of work, wait 'til he gets home to talk about. Also, switch the question/answer balance from need-to-know to a conversation. Suddenly questions that seemed all-too intrusive become a conversation starter. And that's a plus.

Men, try to be patient with us. If we're getting too inquisitive, gently remind us we're being pesky, but be willing to talk about the issue later. And like I said, try to turn a police briefing into a nice conversation. If your gal just asks stupid questions in general, all the time, that may be a reflection of the kind of girl she is. When all else fails, just consider us April O'Neill, babe-licious reporter who can't get enough of you.

11. Love to hate besties
You're at a party, talking to two cute girls that are "BFFs since fifth grade." But for some reason, all they do is talk down about each other. Bringing up unprompted, obscure, and embarrassing memories, tripping, and then somehow finding a megaphone and proclaiming their undying love for each other. How peculiar. Best friends that appear to hate each other.

We've been searching high and low for a common reason as to why girls do this. Clearly we all have insecurities and the easiest way to make a guy overlook these things is by bringing up someone else's. Why do we do it to our friends?

Guys, don't give into a girl ripping on her friends. Encourage her to talk about the good qualities in them, the reason why they're friends to begin with. We promise - one little, "Come on... she's not that bad," from you will turn the conversation around. And girls - search yourself. Why do you have to point out things in your friends that would make them uncomfortable? Downplay the obvious competition between you and your friends. You need each other! Who's gonna hold your hair over the toilet when you puke? Who's gonna tell you when your crush is secretly flirting with some skeez? Who's gonna go to the pharmacy with you when you need a pregnancy test and talk to you during those terrible three to five minutes? Be confident enough in yourself that you don't need to bring anyone, especially someone you actually love, down.


12. Girls are so f*cking whimsical!

Girls are weird. We like to point out strange things about our partners, usually in public. We make stupid, off-putting jokes. We say inappropriate things. We get excited over trite like Sex in the City 2 (it's coming out in just 17 days!), pedicures, a specific (or nonspecific) song, finding a nickel, soft toilet paper, bobby pins with sparkles on them, Jonas Brothers, candles, Koala Yummies, etc... We want to relive the days of our sixth grade sleepovers. We ask you silly questions we know the answer to just to get a rise out of you. We have odd habits that annoy the hell out of you. We're inquisitive about the dumbest topics, usually right before bed. How could any man not love that?

The good news is, at the same time, we're nurturing, understanding and loving. Out of weirdness is born an even weirder sense of understanding our partners. We remember every answer to that stupid questions of, "What's your favorite ____?" and can incorporate them into a romantic surprise down the road. The very reason we're whimsical is probably the very reason why you love us, annoying or not.