26. If you like it, then you should've put a ring on it.

Erica: I don't particularly love Beyonce, and no one would claim that she's the reincarnate of Socrates, but ain't it the truth? If you like it, then you should have put a ring on it. The rest of the song lyrics go on to say something about... "I'm in a club dancing with this hottie, so don't be peanut butter and jealous because if you liked it so much, then you should have claimed me when I was yours." Sarcastic, pitch-perfect auto-tuned words never rang so true.

Ladies, I hate to say it, but if he did like it, he would have put a ring on it. You can argue, "He has commitment issues." Yeah, and he didn't like you enough to get over those issues. Almost every guy genetically has commitment probs, but the good ones just get over it. Because they love you enough to push aside those fears. Take a good look in the mirror. Do you want him, or do you want commitment? Because you obviously can't have both. Assuming you want this commitment, look again. Are you worthy of your dreams of marriage? Or is he worth forgetting about those dreams?

Guys, don't be ridiculous. I'm not telling you sink your savings into a cloudy, yellowish blood diamond so you can propose to your girlfriend just because you like her. I'm saying take the shit or get off the pot. Don't ever think you're good enough or she's strong enough to be strune along. She will leave, and it will be your fault for making her break. Be man enough to let her go, while taking responsibility, or give her what she wants. At least have a conversation that reassures her. "You know I love you and I've told you I'd like to be with you forever, but I just want to tell you that I'm still serious about us, and I do have plans to make this more permanent in the near future." You don't have to give anything away. Don't let her pick out a ring for herself. Make your intentions known. For goodness sake... Jay-Z put a ring on it!

So this is my plea to the boys with no balls - if you like it, put a ring on it. If you were looking for a sign, this is your sign. And it's not too late.


Jill: All women daydream about is the moment her boyfriend, soon to be boyfriend, hell even her first date will drop down on one knee and propose. Not that we’re entirely obsessed with the idea of getting hitched, but it’s the same urge that prompts us to wonder what our first name and your last name would sound like together. Explains a lot about our college - ahem, junior high notebooks, doesn’t it?

And so Beyonce wrote a song. The song of all songs really. An anthem for single women hoping to get married everywhere. Finally something to replace "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" during the bouquet toss. The swan song for the soon-to-be bagged.

Men, it’s simple. If you like it, then put a ring on it. Women get antsy after a while. While being your girlfriend sure is nice, it’s nicer to have some future stability to rely on. When moms, sisters, uncles and other obscure relatives ask, “So what’s going on with John anyway?” it sounds (and feels) better to say, “We’re hoping to get married and settle down,” rather than, “He’s still trying to figure things out, and I’m supportive of that.”

Don’t get me wrong: being supportive is totally important. It’s basically the pinnacle of any relationship. However being supportive of your partner’s “need” to wait and figure things out while you can’t stop picturing your wedding photos on your desk may signal your need for a bigger commitment. And usually, it’s not you being crazy, or obsessed with marriage. It simply means you’re ready and maybe he’s not. If your man truly loves you, he should do whatever it takes to be ready. If not, let him go. He’ll have 99 problems, but a bitch won’t be one.